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Saturday, February 27, 2016

A Mother's Worth

This has been heavy on my heart lately. I have been thinking about what is the weight of a woman's worth? And then that lead to the thought, what is the weight of a mother's worth and how is it measured? I feel like the world today places so much pressure on us as women and on us as moms to look, act, do things a certain way in order to be a "good mom".

Then there is the idea of what it is to be a "super Mom".

That term "supermom"... something about it just doesn't sit right. I have heard it used a lot between fellow mamas, usually as a way of showing support, encouragement and is used kind of like a mom fist bump to say "you're doing a good job"! Which mom fist bumps are AWESOME and encouragement is so huge as moms isn't it? 

But I feel like something is off with the "superMom" label. I feel like this concept of "supermom" is in some ways not an encouragement but more like a measuring stick. {This reminds me of what Ann Voskamp taught about measuring sticks about a year ago at IF:Gathering}

A few questions usually pop into my mind when I hear this label used, here's a peek into what goes through my head...

1.) Who decided what makes a Mom "super"?

2.) Who gave them authority to decide what is "super"?

3.) Is this ideal of "supermom" something we should be striving for or be excited about attaining?

Does anyone else feel this way? 

Here is a little back story into how my thoughts towards being a mom and motherhood have developed over the last three or so years. A few years ago we found out that Caleb our middle child who is now 4 years old was on the Autism Spectrum. It was hard to find out because of the daily struggles that we most likely could expect to be ahead of us but at the same time it helped to be able to place a finger on it to say that had been what was going on there. For a year or more I had been struggling with feeling like a complete failure as a mom when Caleb would just take off running with no regard to my voice when we were with friends, in public, at the park or at church. I would look around me and see other kiddos younger than Caleb listening to their parents. I was wondering, what is going on here? Am I doing that bad of a job? He also had little regard at times for peoples personal belongings and at would sometime grab people's things including food and drinks without asking. It's hard when you don't know what is going on, why this might be happening and neither do the people involved.  Needless to say I felt very alone during this time as a Mama and like I was doing a terrible job. It was hard but at the same time I am thankful because it has taken down many of my ideas of what it is to be a "great" Mom.

How I am doing as a mom and as a woman are not tied up in how my child is behaving - good or bad. How I am doing as a mom and as a woman is not tied up in how much of what I am doing compares to what other moms are doing. How I am doing as a mom and a woman is not tied up in how much I am doing! It's just not. Period. And I feel like as a Mom this is one of our hugest temptations. To believe that were not doing enough, to believe that our kids aren't doing well enough and ultimately to believe that we are not enough. Like there is an imaginary measuring stick and on said measuring stick other moms would surely be wayyyy up at the far end of this measuring stick and we would be way down at the bottom. Anyone here with me on this?

What if we knew, DEEP DOWN in our bones that there is NO measuring stick. 

The measuring stick is a LIE.

And what it says about us is a LIAR.

Granted there is room for growing and learning from other moms but the comparison that can come up in our hearts is were it can head down the wrong track. 

I am thankful for our journey with Caleb and each of the kiddos because God has really taught me that the worlds standards are not always the same as His standards - in any area, including what it is to "measure up" or to be a "supermom". I love how God's Kingdom is an upside down Kingdom. What the world says is often the very opposite of what God says.

The world may tell you that to measure up on the "supermom" yard stick that you need to have it together - for each person this may look differently. For me in the past and still some days measuring up has been looking like I have it together like other moms, having a clean house {like the kind which I have a picture of in my mind - most likely from something I saw on Facebook 😜}, feeding the kids healthy foods, always being having a gentle voice with the kids, having a clean car without all the crumbs, wearing cute clothes, having nice blow dryed hair that has just the right amount of poof {yes, I am being honest here, I have thought thisπŸ˜‚}, saying the "right" Christian things, having a husband that is happy and the list goes on and on and on. On their own there is nothing wrong with these things but when they are being used by someone as a measuring stick to determine their worth of value something is wrong. 

As women and sometimes as Christian women I really believe that we sometimes can get to a place where we feel the weight of this. The weight of this yard stick that we feel like someone is carrying around measuring how we're doing. The measurement in return can often times make us feel something about our worth, something about whether we measure up, something about whether we are enough, something about whether we are "supermom" quality or not.

Let me tell you right now. You are mom enough. 

I heard Beth Moore speak on her TV show this morning and she said this. 

"You are woman enough"

And I felt like God had this for us. For you as a mom.

You are mom enough.

You are woman enough.

So let's put down these imaginary measuring yard sticks and instead of encouraging one another with the "supermom" ideal let's wrap each other above all in love, in truth and on those hard days lets just look each other in the eyes and without needing to say a word - fist bump it up because we are in this together and we are all super in our own way!

You go Mama, do your thang!

Because God looks at you and He is not looking with a critical eye. He is looking at you and He says... It is good! It is very good! When I believe, really believe that this is how God sees me, this is what God thinks of me, then I am able to put down that ridiculously heavy measuring stick... And breathe.

And enjoy. 

And begin to taste what it is like to live free from the weight.

And just be me.

And it is good! 

Let's do this together! Let's remind each other and encourage each other with the unchanging truth of who we are and Who we belong to despite what we ever might accomplish. 

We are His πŸ’› You are His! 

This video is so great! A Woman's Worth:


Praying for us!

Ashley


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